Home Thoughts from Dubai - knowledge through words
Tip when visiting/moving to Dubai:
Come and enjoy the magnificant new places in Dubai - like the Burj Khaliffa
Reflections from the week:
The Haiti story is surely one of the saddest natural events and disasters of this and the last century. As many as 100,000 + people have died. What an awful event. And to see so many of these helpless families on TV. People who had little in life except family, friends and poor housing now left with NOTHING. REAL life and REAL tear provoking. We should all be glad for what we have although events like this do cause me to pause and wonder WHY do such disasters always seem to hit at the POOR of the world. Maybe I will get an answer to that in the next life.
Well the oxymoron’s flowed after last week’s edition. Some that I really liked were ‘British Intelligence’ (sorry to my 700 + British readers !!). Or how about American Culture (there goes another 350 + readers). Active Retirement. Air Field (hehehe get it !!). Almost Always (or almost never). Or Backside !! Or Bad Health. Petty Cash. Well ENOUGH. I think you will NOW be able to identify an oxymoron. Well I am Fairly Definite.
Did you ever think how ‘sharp’ children can make your brain. Their ‘vacant’ minds hungry for knowledge minds ask the simplest, but most challenging of questions. And so Caroline (the girl who looks after me in the office every day) and Sascha (her saintly husband) can look forward to being ‘challenged’ by their new (just 6 months to go + learning to speak time) daughter. You know the type of questions ? Mum/Dad how is electricity made ? What is a Prime Number ? Why is the sky blue (sometimes) ? Why is the sea salty ? What is infinity ? Where does the wind come from ? Where do babies come from ? etc etc. You know the typical questions of a three year old !!!! ALL questions that parents believe they should know the answers to but struggle. Particularly when you have to convert the answer into child-speak.
So Caroline I will give you the answer to some of these questions over the next few weeks. Now the reason the ‘sky is blue’ (I will try this in child-speak) ……… BLUE (one of the seven colours of the rainbow) is the colour in the Rainbow which when hit by sunlight is ‘strongest’. For you adults there is a mix of particles, sunlight travelling through space, hitting the earths atmosphere, and blue when hitting sunlight being the colour that ‘spreads’ most easily.
Now let’s get moving. Enough of this ‘crèche stuff’
The French Government has always had the reputation for being ‘soft’ on its large minority and majority (are they both oxymoron’s !!) groups. That is why the labour practices appear to be from ‘cave times’. The Government has also ALWAYS conceded to farmer and Union demands. BUT this week the Government are considering proposals to fine Muslim women (Euro 850) who wear their Burka in Public. And the fine will be doubled for Muslim men who insist on their women/wives wearing this form of clothing in public areas. Given that France has such a significant Muslim population (from its ‘Colonial Days’ in North Africa) this is indeed a VERY brave step. EVEN the Aussies have not gone that far !!!!
Now I regularly promise to make you all more knowledgeable by the time you are finished your ‘Friday Read’. So here is a quick smorgasbord of ‘medical’ knowledge for this week. Here is a gem for those who like milk-shakes. Recent research is suggesting that a strawberry (or your favourite flavour) milkshake taken for breakfast, can materially improve the short term memory of those most in danger of suffering from Alzheimer’s. Look I only report these things. And this FACT has been covered in the respected medical journal – the Lancet. Now if THAT stretches your brain, I have a ‘cure’ for those of you with arthritis as well. Now quite the ‘appetising’ as the milkshake but a mixture of cider vinegar (no pain no gain) and honey four times a day. A 55 year old church organist in the UK had suffered severe arthritis for five years (and had taken virtually every drug to relieve her agony and allow her return to her organ !!). After 6 months on the ‘new medicine’ the arthritis completely disappeared. Yes completely. Oh by the way you can add hot water to the vinegar and the honey. Just one question. I am not sure whether you ‘apply it’ to the arthritis area or drink it !!!! I feel a ‘Dr Dave’ reputation developing !!!
One person I was not around in time to ‘save’ was the great Elvis Presley. This great man would have been 75 last week. Yes a singing legend that still lives on 33 years after his unfortunate death in 1977. A Star who has sold SEVEN times more records than there are people in the entire continent of America.
One thought from his death. IF Michael Jackson’s doctor is now being indicted for the MURDER of his client, should we not arrest Elvis’ doctor – assuming he is still alive !!!
In Dubai specific news this week, our Great friend in Arabtec (Yes YOU Tom) is now close to being a Civil Servant. Subject to shareholder approval (most of you should be able to guess what this result will be) Arabtec will fall into the hands of Aabar – an investment company 71% owned by the UAE Federal Government. At AED 2.30 per share the price paid is not very generous. On the roads the Dubai police this week released some ‘safe (and not so safe) driving’ data. Apparently the highest amount paid by a ‘traffic violator’ in any one year was AED 85,000 (Euro 16,000). ALL of the top 15 violators except one (who was British) were UAE Nationals. Now there is a surprise. But WHERE were the Indians !!!! Moving to football, I am not sure where I sit on the news that Manchester City lost £92 million in 2009. While I don’t care about the club (hopefully their current good spell will come to an end tomorrow against Everton), I DO care that the international view of the UAE (the Abu Dhabi Royal Family unfortunately own the club) is that they are ‘investor numpties’. And why ANY intelligent person would want to own a football team is as alien to me as my mother joining the Irish male 100 meter Olympic Team.
For those of you with any doubt about whether to hold your investment property in South Africa maybe the attack on the Togo Football Team coach (ie bus) should make its disposal conclusive. ONCE this years Soccer World Cup is over, South Africa will become the next Zimbabwe. SA is a fire-works factory about to explode.
Imagine your football team are 4 nil up in a major soccer tournament. There are just 14 minutes left on the clock. You are cruising. Celebrations have started. The opponents somehow get two goals back before we all head into 4 minutes of injury time. So NO need to panic. Four minutes. Two goal lead. Comfortable. Well the celebrations ‘changed jerseys’ in those last FOUR minutes. The final score 4 – 4.
Now surely THAT is a message to EVERYBODY to NEVER give up. Congratulations to the Mali ‘eleven’ for giving the world such a splendid lesson.
So the IMF (the Bank that is called in when a country is in serious financial trouble) has been called into Greece. Yes the EUROPEAN country. You could be forgiven for not realising this. I mean if you are a SKY TV subscriber. Now I don’t want to HT to become too obsessed with the professional failings and corruptive nature of Rupert Murdoch but you would think that a European country having the IMF on its doorstep justified an equivalent level of theatre to which Murdoch treated Dubai. But ‘no’. Since there was no money on the table the Sky harlots preferred the ‘weather’ occupied the airwaves.
And this week Mr Murdoch added another ‘harlot’ to his Mansion. He has conscripted the ‘talents’ of Sarah Palin (the failed and embarrassing US Republican Vice Presidential candidate). And with her usual intellectual depth her acceptance speech had words of joy at joining a such an ‘INDEPENDENT, BALANCED and RESPECTED’ TV channel. Yes this BIMBO (hidden below a brunette exterior) believes that the Murdoch owned Fox News justifies these words. Is it any wonder the jokes are flowing.
Fox News is no more than an anti-Obama publicity machine. It is more a COMIC or COMEDY channel than a news channel. A sort of an adult Disney cartoon channel. A channel any respectable and intelligent American adult avoids. So another ‘pro’ joins the Murdoch Brothel.
Since you won’t hear/see this on any of the Murdoch rags or ‘movies’ I thought I should report to you that Dubai Airport traffic for 2009 was up nearly 10% at 41 million. This put Dubai as only one of four of the top 50 airports in the world that actually registered an increase in traffic numbers (the others were Istanbul, Kuala Lumpur and Cairo). This raises Dubai to the 16th busiest airport in the world, or in the top 10 in the world when one excludes the America airports. In December alone – despite the reported difficulties – traffic numbers were up 16%. Mr Murdoch would have us believe that there numbers were inflated by the number of bankers visiting the Emirate !!!!!
So we will continue to WATCH Murdoch’s abuse of his powerful media franchises. MONEY is more important to Mr Murdoch than the truth (which should be important if you are the owner of influential media franchises), unbiased reporting (again we deserve this), morals (well this is something he rates even less than the ‘puppets’ who peddle his ‘bought’ views ) and being remembered as a person of professional integrity.
And what about the coverage of the Iceland ‘default’ to unfortunate British investors . Sorry if you missed this news. It is NOT covered very well by Western Press. I just wonder how it would be covered if Iceland was part of the UAE ? And the ‘sloppy’ tactic being used by the Icelandic Government to avoid this liability ? Well lets all have a National Referendum to establish if we should pay back the money. Now I wonder how that vote will go !!!
One person who could pay the entirety of Iceland’s debt to these British Investors somebody who does not have to consult anybody. Simon Cowell has to be rated one of the businessmen of the year/decade/century. Forget Warren Buffett. This man that people love to hate, has just ‘dumped’ American Idol in favour of ‘American X Factor’ – another talent show for budding singers. This ‘shimmy’ has the impact of improving Mr Cowell’s wealth by something close to US$ 400 million. You see Mr Cowell OWNS the rights to the X Factor Franchise. He is a REAL hero ……………….. of mine. My money is on X Factor winning the ratings war in the US. They are talking about replacing Simon with Donny Osmond (yes he is still alive) on American Idol. OOOOOOO how scary !!!
Finally the McCann’s (the parents of Madelaine) were back in Portugal this week. To take legal action against the Portuguese policeman who has written a book which suggests that Madelaine died by accident on the holiday four years ago and the parents hid/destroyed the body. When faced with Madelaine having been abducted or this policeman’s version, I have to side with the law !!! I am sorry but I remain suspicious of the ‘composed’ nature of these parents. I just hope I am still alive to find out the truth. It will probably only be ‘available’ if the parents fall out with each other OR on the death bed of one or other of the parents. Watch this space !!!
Finally finally did you know that Denmark used to ‘own’ Norway and that in 1814 it ceded the territory to Sweden. It was not until 1905 that Norway gained independence.
Property corner:
Well the market continues to improve and we don’t need to look any further than Palm Jumeirah. The Garden Homes (5,000 sq ft detached villa’s) which had fallen to AED 6 million just 6 months ago are now not available at anything less than AED 8.5 million and you are more likely to pay AED 9 million – yes FIFTY per cent higher than the low. Now can somebody please tell me WHY the Western Media continues to condemn Dubai as a territory with an investment disease. While other parts of the Dubai market remain ‘dull’, the old property adage of location, location and location is as relevant here as anywhere else in the world. I do believe that it will be a struggle for much of the property in Dubailand but in time the fact that Dubai one of the world’s great living and tourist destinations, these locations will in time recover. BUT this is ONLY for property where construction has started and where the Developer is ‘financially safe’
Dog Corner:
This week’s ‘Dog Trophy’ again goes to the Dubai Labour Department. How can they believe they are doing a good job for the Emirate or contributing to the need for greater external investment ? All they do is provide ammunition, as if more were needed, to Mr Murdoch and the Western Media as to why entrepreneurs, tourists and companies should stay AWAY from Dubai. THESE PEOPLE are the GREAT NINJA’S of Dubai. You CAN’T even get the same answer from any two of them as to what is ‘the law’ in relation points of Labour Law. AND they continue to REFUSE to meet or entertain discussion. This just ‘GO AWAY AND GET OVER IT’ attitude is disgraceful and fully justifies the BBBOOOO of the week – again !!!
Dog Corner:
Lets start with a blonde joke
There was a competition to swim from Santa Monica to Catalina doing only the breaststroke, and the three women who entered the race were a brunette, a redhead and a blonde.
After approximately 14 hours, the brunette staggered up on the shore and was declared the fastest breaststroker.
About 40 minutes later, the redhead crawled on shore and was declared the second place finisher.
Nearly 4 hours after that, the blonde finally came ashore and promptly collapsed in front of the worried onlookers.
When the reporters asked why it took her so long to complete the race, she replied,
“I don’t want to sound like a sore loser, but I think those two other girls were using their arms.”
A bloke from the bush walked into a Sydney curio/antique shop.
After looking around for a while, he noticed a very life-like bronze statue of a rat. It had no price tag, but it was so striking that he decided to buy it anyway.
He took it to the owner and said: ‘How much is this bronze rat?’
The owner replied: ‘It’s $12 for the rat, and $100 for the story.’
The fellow gave the owner his $12 and said: ‘I’ll just take the rat, you can keep the story!’
As he walked off down the street, he noticed that a few real rats had crawled out of the drains and begun following him.
This was a little disconcerting, so he started to walk a little faster, but within a couple of blocks the swarm of rats had grown to hundreds, and they were all squealing and screeching in a very menacing way.
He increased his speed and ran on towards Sydney Harbour and as he ran,he looked behind him and saw the rats now numbered in their MILLIONS, and they were running faster and faster.
By now very concerned, he ran down to the pier and threw the bronze rat as far out into the water as he could. Amazingly, the millions of real rats jumped into the water after it … and were all drowned.
The man walked back to relate all this to the shop owner, who said, ‘Ah, you’ve come back for the story then?’
‘Shit no!’ said the bloke, ‘I came back to see if you’ve got a bronze Muslim, a couple of Asians, a Poof, anything Aboriginal and an Indian spin bowler.
Some old people jokes now
Two elderly women, Mildred and Hazel, were out driving in a large car, barely able to see over the dashboard. As they’re driving along to the grocery store, they approach an intersection. The light is red, but Mildred just drives on through, not hesitating for a second.
Bewildered, Hazel thinks to herself “I must be losing it. I could’ve sworn we just drove through a red light.” A few minutes later, they come up to another red light. Again, Mildred drives right on through. Hazel is alarmed, but is still not sure if she’s imagining things.
At the next intersection, however, Mildred drives through another red light, prompting Hazel to turn to her friend.
“Mildred, are you aware that we just ran through three red lights in a row?”
Mildred replies: “You know, I noticed that too!” Hazel, flabbergasted, stammers, “You could have gotten us both killed!”
Mildred turns to her slowly, and says, “Me?! I thought you were driving!” !!!!!!
Here is a very brave note written by a middle-aged man to his wife …………. and her response
‘You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you with your 54-year-old body can no longer supply. However, I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18-year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel.
Please don’t be perturbed, I shall be back home before midnight.
When the husband came home, he found a letter on the dining Room table:
My dearest husband, I received your letter and thank you for your honesty. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old. At the same time, I would like to inform you that while you are reading this, I will be at the Ritz Carleton with Michael, my tennis coach, who, like your secretary, also is 18. As a successful businessman and with your excellent knowledge of maths, you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference: 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18. Therefore, I will not be back until lunchtime tomorrow !
An old man walks into an Ice cream shop and orders a sundae.
He then tenderly crawls up onto and sit down on the stool at the counter. The server asks him, “Crushed nuts?” and the old man response, “No, just arthritis.”
Poor Mrs Dales’ husband had just died and she got lonely and wanted to commit suicide by shooting herself in the heart. so she goes to her husbands underwear drawer and gets out her husbands revolver. The next thing she does was call up the doctor so she didn’t miss her heart and the doc said,’well on a woman the heart is just below the left breast’.
The next day shee was admitted to hospital with a gun shot wound to the knee!!
An older gentleman had an appointment to see the urologist who shared offices with several other doctors.. The waiting room was filled with patients. As he approached the receptionist’s desk, he noticed that the receptionist was a large unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler.
He gave her his name. In a very loud voice, the receptionist said, “YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE; YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?”
All the patients in the waiting room cringed or attempted to see who this unfortunate and embarrassed person was . He recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied, ‘NO, I’VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION, BUT I DON’T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS.’
Three old guys, all hard of hearing, were playing golf one sunny spring morning. One says to another, “Windy, isn’t it?” “No,” the second man answers, “it’s Thursday.” The third guy, listening in, pipes up, “So am I! Let’s grab a beer.”
A man, getting along in years, finds that he is unable to Perform sexually. He goes to his doctor who tries a few things, but nothing seems to work.
Finally, as a last hope, the doctor refers him to an African medicine man. The medicine man says, “I can cure this.”
With that said, he throws a white powder into a flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke. Then the African medicine man says, “This is powerful healing but you can only use it once a year. All you have to do is say ‘123,’ and it shall rise For as long as you wish!” The man then asks, “What happens when it’s over, and I don’t want to continue?”
The medicine man replies, “When your partner can take no more sex and is completely satisfied, all she has to say is ‘1234′, and it will then go down”. But be warned, “IT will not rise again for another whole year.”
The old gent rushes home, anxious to try out his new powers. That night he showers, shaves and smothers himself in aftershave. He slides into bed, cuddles up to his wife, and says “123″ and suddenly he has got a massive stiffy, just as the medicine man promised.
His wife turns over and asks,. . . . . . “What did you say ‘123′ for?” Get it !!!!!
A Preacher is visting an old lady of his church, at her house. They are praying, singing, and having a good old time.
During the visit the Preacher finished a whole bowl of peanuts.
As he was saying goodbye he apologized for eating all of her peanuts.
She said “Preacher give it not minute of worry . Ever since I had all of my teeth pulled all I do is suck the chocolate off them anyway”.
An 80-year old man goes to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks, “How do you stay in such great physical condition?”
I’m a golfer,” says the old guy, “and that’s why I’m in such good shape. I’m up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways.
” Well,” says the doctor, “I’m sure that helps, but there’s got to be more to it. How old was your dad when he died?”
”Who said my dad’s dead?”
The doctor is amazed. “You mean you’re 80 years old and your dad’s still alive. How old is he?”
“He’s 100 years old,” says the old golfer.
“In fact he golfed with me this morning, and that’s why he’s still alive. He’s a golfer too.”
“Well,” the doctor says, “that’s great, but I’m sure there’s more to it than that. How about your dad’s dad? How old was he when he died?”
“Who said my grandpa’s dead?”
Stunned, the doctor asks, “You mean you’re 80 years old and your grandfather is still living! Incredible, how old is he?”
”He’s 118 years old,” says the old golfer.
The doctor is getting frustrated at this point, “So, I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?”
“No. Grandpa couldn’t go this morning because he’s getting married today.”
At this point the doctor is close to losing it. “Getting married!! Why would a 118 year-old guy want to get married?”
“Who said he wanted to?”
Here is one of my favourite Irish jokes ( a little crude. But who give a ‘care’)
Paddy has broken his leg and his buddy Mick comes over to see him.
Mick says, “How you doin?”
Paddy says, “Okay, but do me a favor mate, run upstairs and get me slippers, me feet are freezing.”
Mick goes upstairs and sees Paddy’s gorgeous 19-year-old twin daughters lying naked on the bed.
He says, “Your dad’s sent me up here to have sex with both of you.”
They say, “Get away widge ya…. prove it..”
Mick shouts downstairs, “Paddy, both of em?”
Paddy shouts back, “Of course both of em, what’s the point of fuckin’ one?”
Here are two totally true stories. They are a bit long, but it is worth sticking with. Very interesting.
Many years ago, Al Capone virtually owned Chicago . Capone wasn’t famous for anything heroic. He was notorious for enmeshing the windy city in everything from bootlegged booze and prostitution to murder.
Capone had a lawyer nicknamed “Easy Eddie.” He was Capone’s lawyer for a good reason. Eddie was very good! In fact, Eddie’s skill at legal maneuvering kept Big Al out of jail for a long time. To show his appreciation, Capone paid him very well. Not only was the money big, but Eddie got special dividends, as well. For instance, he and his family occupied a fenced-in mansion with live-in help and all of the conveniences of the day. The estate was so large that it filled an entire Chicago City block.
Eddie lived the high life of the Chicago mob and gave little consideration to the atrocity that went on around him. Eddie did have one soft spot, however. He had a son that he loved dearly. Eddie saw to it that his young son had clothes, cars, and a good education. Nothing was withheld. Price was no object. And, despite his involvement with organized crime, Eddie even tried to teach him right from wrong.
Eddie wanted his son to be a better man than he was. Yet, with all his wealth and influence, there were two things he couldn’t give his son; he couldn’t pass on a good name or a good example.
One day, Easy Eddie reached a difficult decision. Easy Eddie wanted to rectify wrongs he had done. He decided he would go to the authorities and tell the truth about Al “Scarface” Capone, clean up his tarnished name, and offer his son some semblance of integrity. To do this, he would have to testify against
The Mob, and he knew that the cost would be great. But, he testified. Within the year, Easy Eddie’s life ended in a blaze of gunfire on a lonely Chicago Street . But in his eyes, he had given his son the greatest gift he had to offer, at the greatest price he could ever pay Police removed from his pockets a rosary, a crucifix, a religious medallion, and a poem clipped from a magazine.
The poem read: “The clock of life is wound but once, and no man has the power to tell just when the hands will stop, at late or early hour. Now is the only time you own. Live, love, toil with a will. Place no faith in time. For the clock may soon be still.”
STORY NUMBER TWO World War II produced many heroes. One such man was Lieutenant Commander Butch O’Hare.
He was a fighter pilot assigned to the aircraft carrier Lexington in the South Pacific. One day his entire squadron was sent on a mission. After he was airborne, he looked at his fuel gauge and realized that someone had forgotten to top off his fuel tank. He would not have enough fuel to complete his mission and get back to his ship. His flight leader told him to return to the carrier.
Reluctantly, he dropped out of formation and headed back to the fleet. As he was returning to the mother ship, he saw something that turned his blood cold; a squadron of Japanese aircraft was speeding its way toward the American fleet. The American fighters were gone on a sortie, and the fleet was all but defenseless. He couldn’t reach his squadron and bring them back in time to save the fleet. Nor could he warn the fleet of the approaching danger. There was only one thing to do. He must somehow divert them from the fleet.
Laying aside all thoughts of personal safety, he dived into the formation of Japanese planes. Wing-mounted 50 caliber’s blazed as he charged in, attacking one surprised enemy plane and then another. Butch wove in and out of the now broken formation and fired at as many planes as possible until all his ammunition was finally spent. Undaunted, he continued the assault. He dove at the planes, trying to clip a wing or tail in hopes of damaging as many enemy planes as possible, rendering them unfit to fly.
Finally, the exasperated Japanese squadron took off in another direction. Deeply relieved, Butch O’Hare and his tattered fighter limped back to the carrier Upon arrival, he reported in and related the event surrounding his return. The film from the gun-camera mounted on his plane told the tale. It showed the extent of Butch’s daring attempt to protect his fleet. He had, in fact, destroyed five enemy aircraft. This took place on February 20, 1942 , and for that action Butch became the Navy’s first Ace of W.W.II, and the first Naval Aviator to win the Congressional Medal of Honor.
A year later Butch was killed in aerial combat at the age of 29. His home town would not allow the memory of this WW II hero to fade, and today, O’Hare Airport in Chicago is named in tribute to the courage of this great man. So, the next time you find yourself at O’Hare International, give some thought to visiting Butch’s memorial displaying his statue and his Medal of Honor. It’s located between Terminals 1 and 2.
SO WHAT DO THESE TWO STORIES HAVE TO DO WITH EACH OTHER?
Butch O’Hare was “Easy Eddie’s” son. (Pretty cool, eh!)
Currency corner:
An unexciting week for the US$. Up a bit, down a bit. Except against the resurgent Aus $ - where the Australian economy seems to show no signs of ‘shutting down’. Interest rates playing a key role in the value of currencies at the moment, almost to the exclusion of economic conditions and Government indebtedness around the world. Most Governments recognise that they CANNOT withdraw the stimulus packages they have put in place. Employment subsidy costs and cash handouts to buy un-essentials such as new cars (BIG issues in Germany and the US) will have to cease at some point. And THEN the debt will have to be repaid.
Sterling ? Yep I WILL remain stubborn. It WILL fall in value.
Equity corner:
Glaxo did NOT have a great week. But I put my money where ‘I recommended’ last week. Sorry. But stick with the stock. It has a nice yield, a safe balance sheet and an excellent drug pipeline. It will benefit from the rotation out of the financial and resource sectors – which should be shortly. So do stick with GSK. I expect a 10% jump over the next 6 months. And over the next two weeks there is at least 40 pence of upside. But be careful of the equity markets. There is now a serious amount of good news in the prices. And eventually a correction will be needed.